Doing Shadow work with a deity or spirit guide

(you may listen to the video above if you wish to listen to the paragraph.)

I thought I’d discuss with you all about my journey in regards to shadow work. Mainly because I was having this mental discussion with myself one day and that was simply me realizing how…interesting it is that if you chose to work with entities while doing shadow work, each one seems to have their own style on helping you. Sometimes it’s slightly different but other times as far as I’ve noticed it’s done differently by each entity.

Now, if you seen my shadow work journey video, I explained all that went on roughly upon my journey. But, like I said before. It got my really interested in explaining to you all how it is to work with entities such as spirits, guides deities and more along your shadow work path. I work with several and I feel like I can now offer quite a lot of insight and how profound it is. Shall you want to work with deity for your own journey or guide, this may prove interesting to you as well. I’ll go on through different sections on each entity I worked with and how they did shadow work with me in case you are curious and already work with one.

Now. First off…I’m going to bring up the infernals. I address them as the infernal divine than demons. But sometimes I’ll switch it up depending on who it is I’m referring to for certain reasons. However, I want you all to know, if you choose to work with any one of them…They are phenomenal with shadow work.

I would also mention how chthonic entities are also great to work with when it comes to shadow work and without a doubt, deities are great with doing shadow work with if you wish to work with one, or if you are already a devotee of one.

Amaymon

My first initial introduction and initiation to shadow work was from Amaymon when I was little. I say he was the first experience I had when it came to shadow work because of all that he put me through initially. I don’t think he’s quite beginner friendly but if something needs to be done, and pushed through he really helps in regards to that. I also have a video I did about my experiences of him on here if your curious. However, Amaymon for me when we did shadow work, was very… blunt, straight and direct. At times it felt aggressive but not n a super violent way.

At first, he broke down walls that were built to get to the core of a specific problem or wound that needed to be worked on and tended to. For me it was glass panels that shattered with ease. Then would come more…analyzing, coming face to face with it and taking a journey through it to understand where it came from and why it existed. And that is something I think is note worthy with all of them. When you do shadow work with any entity and you work in specific areas, you follow that path and go on a journey with it to understand why it’s part of your shadow.

At times, the work we did together triggered a lot of anger in me. He really pushed my boundaries so I could have genuine boundaries. To help me realize i have a back bone and that I need to use it.

Roughly speaking… His way of helping me through shadow work was tearing down walls that would become too strong before it was too late. To work and face the problem or wound at hand instead of putting it on the back burner of my psyche and ignoring it. Like trying to throw away something you don’t like but he roughly grabs it and throws it down in front of you and says. “Deal with it” in a low authoritive tone in your face. If your running away from something, he’ll make sure you face it one way or another. Shadow work with him was always filled with anger, frustration and the need to yell for me. And it got the point I could stand my ground when he tested me without faltering as much. Then our work become gentle and slow. Like when he helped me to slowly take steps back away from an edge within my inner astral plane, the edge in which held a strong significant of when I once wanted to delete my self. He helped me to slowly process the reason as to why, while helping me to retreat safely back to ground with him, each step signified me taking back my own strength and power. A new found sense of self once we ended our session.

Lucifer

Shadow work with Lucifer was interesting to say the least… He was gentle with it. It truly felt like he shinned light in the darkest parts and corners of mental scape that I didn’t realize was there. But the only thing was… It happened randomly. When me and him did shadow work it happened so randomly. But it was…orderly? The best way i can put it would be… the fact I would get triggered about something. And he would take that, make it a portal and bring us both into it, to explore it. Like a little worm hole, a little opening of inviting.

So when I got triggered and this happened, he would question me why I’m feeling the way I was. And he didn’t quite want me to answer like… “Oh well, i don’t know. It’s nothing.” He expected me to answer straightforward. Without section thought. To let whatever comes out to come out. Almost as if to not give myself time to think but to allow my body or self to just speak in a flow. So I would tell him why. And he would question that. It would be like this for the entire session. Him questioning me nonstop after each answer I gave him. And through this, we would walk and explore the area the portal created. At times, when I became stuck and didn’t give a straight answer. My own inner demon would appear and torment me while he somewhat disappeared. And each and every time my own demon would appear that in it self was a journey of self realization and awareness. A Lesson was being played and so I had to learn it. Which is kinda funny to think about… He represents light and also the absent of it. Which in a funny way… makes sense as to why he often disappeared briefly during the moments in which my own demons would show.

It didn’t end until I faced them one way or another. And we would often have reviews after each session. To revising what happened, and what I learned and what I needed to understand and how to process it. There was some times in which our session was…slower paced. He would often talk me through things as my surroundings shifted and things were brought to my attention as others shifted from sight that was laced with memories. It felt more like when you are building and rearranging in a sims game. He also seems to reinforce self care.

Abaddon

I feel like my shadow work with him happened in such a way that…I didn’t know it was happening until I genuinely wanted to do shadow work with him. And I say this because of when we first met and how it unfolded. It not only felt like a test, to shake the ground but… it felt like more was at play now that I truly think about it. Regardless, In my own experience it feels intense and like a lot to take in at first before there is a gentle wave of seeing the after math of a huge storm passing by. And then we would look at the said after math and all that it destroyed. What still stands and what still needs to be broken down. Even questioning why something is still standing when it shouldn’t be.

But not in your typical way. (At least for me). While interacting with him more directly than before I was very intimated but I also feel like I was trying my best to really show that I can do this work with a strong will with what ever happens and is thrown my way…despite being a bit scared. So, shadow work with him at first was very nerve wrecking when I don’t truly feel like it needed to be, it was just how I was being and feeling about it all.

There was intense moments that made me very frustrated when we did things and explored different tones. It felt like through this way, a lot of things were being brought to my attention that otherwise would had never been. I often view myself as being quite self aware but he made me more aware of certain aspects that I first over looked. And how it made me upset with myself because I had over looked it and it could had been so simple and so easily forgotten. But It seems that was the key. That was the point. And that was what I had to process and realize as a lesson in it self.

There were times in which he did express more of a softer side as well, especially when I often tried doing shadow work and healing focused on my heart center and this is when I really appreciated his patience and was more willing to allow his help more for how heavy my heart felt during the time of such a session.

I feel like my way of trying to describe his method of shadow work is a bit more based on experience than it is rather as a set method compared to those I’ve mentioned already. One thing for certain I can say is how doing shadow work within the void with him is wonderful, but definitely not sun shine and rainbows. But it’s wonderful in the sense of truly exploring the darkest aspects that may be scary to truly confront. I feel like he is more safer in a odd sense to truly explore more that is within the dark. Most likely because he comes across as being slightly more death related to me in a chthonic tone.

Loki

I haven’t personally heard a lot of people who have been open about their experiences with Shadow work and Loki. But without a doubt he’s amazing with Shadow work. I feel like the work we did together was very challenging. But in a way of helping me to realize more so, what I should be doing afterwards. I had originally asked him to help me do shadow work with my ancestors and that was super insightful and amazing. But the information I uncovered wasn’t so much. But at the same time it was much needed for me to better understand myself and my path.

When things got really hard and I ended up shutting down. I often have a harder time of hearing and connecting to any one of my team, even if they are trying to help me. And when I was doing a heavy amount of shadow work it also brought me to this space again. However something I noticed with him in particular which I find very interesting… Was the fact he was able to get past my barriers more easily than the others have during an episode like this. Which shocked me and amazed me.

He also used characters from fandoms I enjoy to help me process and work through a lot of my shadow aspects. So he really does implement and show how you can still have fun while still doing work. And this is just one of this methods (I’m sure) that seemed to help and worked well. We would do roleplaying also with my comfort characters to process and work through my wounds and conflicts. Especially in regards to painful memories.

And similar to Lucifer, he also reinforces the idea of self care and tending to yourself.

I wanted to mention that I have done a little bit of shadow work with Belial but I don’t feel like I have enough to truly tell you how it has been like I have with the others mentioned in this video. However the most I can say is that for the time frame and moments we did do shadow work, he helped me to realize how much I’ve been digging myself a deeper hole, especially in regards to not realizing or appreciating all that I’ve done already and been through. And in one particular instance, he asked me when will my healing be enough for me and me only? And it somewhat made me almost flip my lid with frustration and anger because it seemed and felt like I wasn’t doing enough or doing things wrong and the only thing that I was doing wrong was simply not allowing myself to process and rest after a long journey of shadow work. Which was how i was keeping myself stuck in one spot for the longest time.

Now, I hope you all enjoyed today’s video. I want to let you all know that I will be sharing my notes from now on my socials in case you all want to have a different way of saving information I provide while still being able to have a video of me speaking about it for those who wish to listen instead. So please be sure to check it out!

Until next time my starlights, I will see you all later. Bye!

My Shadow Work journey so far after 3+ years

 

(You may listen to the video above if you wish to listen to this paragraph instead)

Hello my starlights!

It’s the new year and this marks the very first video for the new year. I wanted to do this as a way of honoring my own journey so far and to offer some insight for those who are on their own shadow work journey.

Now, if you don’t know what shadow work is…I presume that you may think of something uncanny or dark and evil. If you truly don’t know what shadow work is. Shadow work in a nutshell…is the will to face your demons. To explore and learn about your own darkness. It is the practice of integrating all the repressed parts of yourself.

I’ve been doing it for quite a few years now. And I do it on and off. But I seemed to had stayed stuck in it for roughly 3 years straight and that was rough. I really wanted to take my shadow work seriously and work on myself, I wanted to prove and show my spirit team that I can do it along with myself. Granted at this time, I couldn’t see a counselor as well, so I felt like I really had to be my own.

It was hard, and I say it was hard simply for the fact of learning to be your light and savior. To be nurturing in the mist of a dark storm. Really listening to yourself as you break, as you feel and then nourishing yourself. Reminding yourself it’s ok. It takes a lot of self awareness.

Now, I’m just explaining my journey so far mind you. I don’t recommend doing shadow work as rigorous as I did it, unless you truly want to. Mind you, during this time, I was so focused on shadow work and healing and learning about myself… I forgot that I still had permission to do other spiritual things. Granted, I didn’t need permission. But I became really stuck in my own pit of darkness of exploring.

It came to a point of last year in 2025, that I was becoming spiritually and emotionally burnt out. I was forcing myself to do this work while exhausting myself. And my spirit team kept telling me how much I need to rest and just allow things to be. That I did the work, all that is left is to allow myself to receive, to be held, to allow myself to integrate and process what has all happened. Yet…Through out it, I felt like I forgotten how to rest. What it meant to simply stay still and let someone else step in for awhile for you.

I kept at it, thinking I wasn’t doing enough for myself. I wasn’t taking things seriously and couldn’t help but be hard on myself. And that in awareness, is a aspect of my shadow I was so desperately trying to work on. It got to the point however… I had dreams of 2 of my beloved entities I work with, kept delivering dreams to me of how I need to slow down and stop. I had a dream of walking into my room and the light wouldn’t cut on. I tried to light Loki’s candle at his altar to give my room light and it wouldn’t light. No candle would at my altars. And I felt Abaddon’s presence within my room, in the dark and remember viewing a angel upon my tv but it was so faint. And I heard in the other room, my brother mentioning how much work I’ve done to myself but something about this dream screamed to me upon waking up. To just stop. I desperately needed to rest and pause.

And… it slowly started to feel like I was stuck. I wasn’t going anywhere. I felt like I was in quick sand trying desperately to move and get out. And in a way, it felt like my spirit team was doing this for my own sake. Since I was being so stubborn on not resting and wanting to still tread on while burnt out completely. I knew however…the right way to get out of the quick sand. Fighting against it makes it worst. And the same applies to shadow work. I just had to stop and pause. I had to understand that I don’t always have to do work for it to be effective. This too was a huge learning point for me and in my own path.

So… I started to let lose and tend to myself in ways that felt nurturing and soothing to what ached within me from so much exhaustion. And my spirit team really helped with it. But I fought so much with the idea and feeling that I needed to do this all alone. Without their help. That I’m not to seek outside of me for comfort or saving. That I need to do the saving for myself. And While this is true… You don’t need to do it to the extent of how I did it. Learn for my own mistakes.

That yes, it’s important for you to become your own savior. If you are lost, find yourself. But don’t think your are doing it completely alone. That you need to. And even if you feel like you are, your spirit team is helping on the side. Whether you like it or not. You don’t need to feel like your being too reliant on your guides during any type of shadow work. It’s rough, it’s messy, it’s dark and it goes deep. I was struggling with accepting my own guides help for awhile. Rather it was being conflicted with the idea and feelings of I don’t want to rely on them too much and then knowing that I can. And…whether or not I should allow myself comfort or if I’m seeking it as a easy escape.

In another dream I was stealing food for nourishment before entering a pawn shop, only to see Loki. Freezing when he asked me if I need any help. I knew and felt it deep within me and my gut that I wanted help. I needed help. But in the dream, I got scared. My throat closed up and I simply shook my head no to him before lowering it with defeat.

In another dream, I was having it really hard… I was struggling with my own inner conflict of just trying to understand and process everything. Whether I was doing something good or bad. Should I be getting emotional about this? And knowing that yeah, I should be because I need to feel and process it. Mixed with, I don’t want to be seen as being too reliant but knowing that I need to lean on my spirit team desperately and those around me. I paralyzed myself spiritually and emotionally and even mentally. And, within this other dream… I carried all this emotions and feelings with me, and I remember suddenly being hugged buy Lucifer and the type of hug it was stunned me and made me even more paralyzed. It was comfort I desperately craved and wanted but was too scared to ask for. And even upon waking up it stuck with me for awhile.

In another dream Loki did the same to me and again I reacted by being stunned and paralyzed. Not sure how to react or what to do. But even when both happened, I felt like within my being… I was able to relax and allow myself to know that comfort for the work I’ve been doing is ok. And I continued to try and help myself with unwinding and simply trying to be their for myself. And not just as a savior, to embrace and integrate my shadows. But for all that I had neglected myself with physically here.

Through out the years to this very point…I’ve come to truly understand myself a lot more than I thought. I was always self aware but I think I’ve become more self aware of my being. But that doesn’t mean I’m 100% self aware with all that I do. I’m not perfect in regards to that for I am still human. But I’ve come to understand my ego more, how it shows, what hurts it, how it tries to defend and protect. The void the exist within us all and how it’s not as dangerous as one might think. How generational trauma lingers and is passed on, but can be healed and worked on through you alone. Through this journey so far, It’s truly helped me to learn that other people’s views and opinions don’t define me and honestly feel like something falling upon your shoulder and you flick it off with no care in the world. It feels magical and empowering when you learn to master yourself by understanding yourself and who you are. Really listening and understanding your turmoil and meeting it with a gentle hand or hug. It feels like taking your power back. Reclaiming what was already yours, but got lost through layers of dirt and sediment.

However, as I’ve also realized…this is only the beginning of a path and journey that extends to other things within you. But it’s up to you on which path you choose to take with it as you journey upon your shadow work.

So please be kind to yourself, take it easy and slow. And know you got this. If it becomes too heavy and you can afford it, please do this with a counselor. I could not for my own journey up to this very point, and I wouldn’t recommend it for it truly did get heavy and at times I thought I might not make it. But I’m glad I did and can share it with you all my lovely and beautiful starlights.

Take care and I will see you all later.

Bye